She’d always hated green. Well, not just any green, dark green to be specific. It reminded her of the stench of Ethanol and disinfectant; and the bitter taste of antibiotics. But even though she was surrounded by those dark green curtains, this time all that it reminded her of was those dark green eyes that she fell in love with.
Her blurry eyes stared into the black abyss and wondered what it felt like to hold a lovers hand, to feel someone’s lips on your own, to have someone caress your body or smile against the crook of your neck. But more importantly, she wished that she was noticed by that particular pair of green eyes. She wished those eyes would look at her like she was all they needed. She wished those plump lips would utter those words of reassurance that she craved to hear for most of her life. She wished those long fingers would intertwine with her’s or lovingly bury themselves in her hair. She wished those fingertips would explore every inch of her body. All she wanted was to feel the touch of him, but she knew she couldn’t because those eyes didn’t know her. They never would.
And even in the wee hours of her living she felt crushed with loss and regret; for she was almost an adult but she couldn’t think of anything that made her happy. She never wanted to leave like this. She knew she had been ready to leave for a long time, but she wished that she would leave with a sweet memory on her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut so tight, that it almost made her yelp in pain. But she still couldn’t think of anything that made her smile. Abandoning that idea, she squeezed her eyes shut again so that she could remember something else. Perhaps something that she was proud of. But that went in vain too. She cried out in frustration and agony for she was almost an adult and yet, there wasn’t one thing that she could remember that she was proud of.
How could that be? She wondered as she struggled to breathe. Was her life that vain, that futile that she couldn’t remember one thing that soothed her? Perhaps it was. Not everyone has the luxury of a good life, and not everyone has the luxury of a good death.
Suddenly she could feel herself floating in the air and in that moment she managed to crack a smile because she knew that she wouldn’t have to open her eyes the next morning….. Or any morning after that.